i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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