Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
