he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
