you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
