I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
