I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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