So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
