I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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