At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
