Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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