I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
