would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
