I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
