so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
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You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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