Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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