I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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