Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
