The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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