the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
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Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
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I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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