3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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