Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
