Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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