Umm I'm too high to move.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got inside last night via doggy door
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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