I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
