please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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