We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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