it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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