I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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