Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
