Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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