Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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