I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
