So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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