As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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