Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
