Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
