Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
