please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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