I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
