i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
