i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
