morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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