i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
