I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
