He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
