I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
