If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
