so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
