His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
