I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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