I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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