Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
