Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
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And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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