his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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