Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
