this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
