____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Farmville is her only friend.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
