Your dad touched me again.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
