She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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