How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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