And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
