Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
