After last night, I could never be a politician.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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