Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
