Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
